Francesco Molinari’s Caddy is the Brightest Object on Earth

I don’t think there’s ever been a champion in any sport who’s been more of an also ran than Francesco Molinari.  I’m not saying I don’t respect what he accomplished, The Open was brutal this year.  Sure, it played like your local muni on Saturday when any duffer with a set of sticks could hit a 68, but every other day was the wind-whipped Scottish hell we all expected.  A facet that I’m surprised no one has talked about may be the true bright spot of the weekend.  The light at the end of the tunnel.  The blinding light.

I give you: Pello Iguaran Valle

Don't stare you'll go blind

Excuse the blur, it’s a fucking screenshot.

Look at that shining, white baldness.

The moment after Molinari sunk that putt and essentially won The Open was a great moment, until it was surpassed by his caddy taking his hat off.  You couldn’t wear sunblock and painter’s tape in a tanning booth and get such a crisp, clear contrast between your smooth, luminescent dome and your sun baked face.  I don’t think this guy has ever been outside without a hat on.  Maybe that’s a bald guy thing, always having to wear a hat?  I wouldn’t know, the Good Lord chose to bless me with an amazing head of hair that I will never lose until I eventually suffer the consequence of my gluttonous life.  Let’s see this again.

Molinari’s balding tan line game is strong, but really pretty common amongst golfers.  They tend to look like Darth Vader sans helmet after taking their hat off.  But Valle truly shines above the rest.

Confucious say, "Allow me to retort."

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